


Gomez Versus the Universe

by Cakeinabasket



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, The Addams Family (Movies - Sonnenfeld)
Genre: AddamsFamilyValentinesSpecial2021, Baby Pugsley is just happy to be here, Baby Wednesday full of chaos, F/M, Mild Sexual Content, Morticia please don’t hate me, Oral Sex, Poor Gomez I’m so sorry, Valentines Disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29353629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cakeinabasket/pseuds/Cakeinabasket
Summary: Gomez tries so hard to make his wife’s Valentines special, but the universe is out to get him.
Relationships: Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16
Collections: Addams Family Valentines 2021





	Gomez Versus the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt is: #7 Gomez’s romantic date plans continuously fail, Morticia appreciates the effort anyway.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

A chilly afternoon in February bathed the old Addams home in weak sunlight. The family chose to retreat inside for the day to avoid the rays. The newly adopted lion cub, however, decided today was a good day to lay around the cemetery, undisturbed by the tiny occupants of the house. 

With six month old Pugsley cradled in her arms, Morticia watched as her three year old daughter chased Thing around the sitting room. Maniacal giggles wafted from the floor followed by a squeal as the mobile hand let itself be caught.

“What a little darling.” Her mother cooed beside her on the couch. “I wonder what my little grandson will be like when he gets a bit older.” She tickled the baby’s chin as he happily snuggled against his mother’s chest. 

“Probably just as weird as this one.” Ophelia glanced up from her bridal magazine. “With weirdness on both sides, hard not to inherit it.” The blond stuck her tongue out comically at her niece. 

Wednesday mimicked the gesture, Thing clutched against her chest. “Here.” She dropped Thing on her aunt’s lap before wandering over to her mother. Ophelia gently placed Thing on the chair’s armrest. 

Morticia smiled at her eldest baby, leaning forward to kiss her pale forehead. “You are not weird, you’re perfect.” She shot her sister a glare over the child’s head. “Both of my babies are perfect.” 

Wednesday smiled pleasantly than her face fell into a glare as she caught sight of the swaddled, plump baby in her mother’s arms. “No.” She pointed at Pugsley and crossed her arms stubbornly. 

“Stop glaring at your brother. Your father and I have been over this with you, the baby will be living with us whether you like it or not.” Morticia gave Wednesday a stern look. 

“No.” The little girl patted her gently on the face before crawling onto her grandmother’s lap. 

Morticia shook her head wearily.

“I understand that fact right well, Wednesday.” Ophelia dramatically tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I said no to a sibling too.” 

“Speaking of Gomez,” Mama cut in as Morticia opened her mouth to retaliate. “has he made any plans for Valentines Day yet?” 

The romantic holiday was within a few days but her husband had been unusually quiet about it. “Not as far as I know.” Morticia shrugged and leaned her aching back into the cushions of the couch, adjusting the baby to better support him. “I’ve told him before he doesn’t need to worry about the one special day, he romances me all days of the year.” 

Her sister snorted, tossing the magazine onto the coffee table. “Seems like he listened to you this time.” 

“Seems so.” Morticia closed her eyes and stroked Pugsley’s nose, making him giggle. “Whatever he chooses I’ll be fine with. A quiet night at home would be fine with me, letting me sleep for twelve hours would be the most romantic thing he could ever do.” 

Having two little ones was exhausting. Pugsley’s birth had been hard and long but the baby himself was a lot easier. Being held and eating were his two favorite activities and he rarely cried. When he did cry for reasons other than hunger, his big sister was usually in the room, suspicious and innocent all at once. 

“Whatever plans he comes up with, if any, I’ll watch these two for the night.” Mama said as she squeezed her granddaughter in a tight hug. “I love spending time with my grandbabies.” 

Morticia sent her mother a sincere look of gratitude. “I appreciate that. I hope they won’t be too much of a handful.” 

“I raised you two terrors, didn’t I?” 

Ophelia rolled her eyes at the topic of babies. “Anyway, Mama, if you’re interested, I have a date for Valentines Day.” 

“Good for you, dear.” Mama said absentmindedly as she slipped her granddaughter a piece of candy corn. “Gomez really hasn’t said anything about a romantic surprise?” 

“Nothing.” Morticia wasn’t too worried about not receiving anything but that was a little odd for her husband. “He still has time if he has any plans.” 

The women lapsed into a brief silence, Ophelia was still pouting at the apparent lack of interest in her own love life. Wednesday had wiggled herself out of her grandmother’s arms and decided she desperately wanted the sword displayed on the fireplace mantel. She was much too little to reach so she spent most of her time glaring at it, hoping it will do the hard work for her. 

“Ah, if it isn’t a gathering of the most beautiful women in the world!” Gomez came into the room, burning cigar in hand and a charming smile on his handsome face. 

“Oh you!” Mama said sweetly, cheeks turning red. “Always the charmer.” 

“Uh huh.” Ophelia muttered with disdain. She had so hoped she would have been the Frump sister Gomez had fallen for at his cousin’s funeral. He had spoken to both Morticia and Ophelia but he admitted to being friendly with only one of them. 

“There’s my beloved!” He gallantly bent down to kiss Morticia, hand lightly rubbing their son’s fuzz covered head. “You look incredibly beautiful.” 

“Thank you, darling.” She purred against his lips as she pulled him into a deeper kiss. Ignoring the audience, they continued to exchange kisses, until a tiny hand on his suit jacket stole his attention. 

Wednesday was standing next to him, cute little pout on her adorable little face. 

“Tiny beloved!” Gomez said enthusiastically as he scooped the girl into his arms. He kissed her cheek, chuckling as she playfully pushed his face away. “Being a little menace, I presume?” 

The child nodded seriously and wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug. 

“So, Gomez, have any Valentines plans for my sister?” Ophelia asked casually, grinning at Morticia’s annoyed look. “Or is she not that important anymore since you got two kids out of her?” 

“Ignore her, darling, she’s being petty.” Morticia said through gritted teeth, a slight pink color in her cheeks. 

“Of course we have plans, what would make you think we didn’t?” Gomez asked, genuinely bewildered. 

“Well, Morticia said you didn’t.” Ophelia grinned wickedly. “She assumed you were skipping it this year.” 

Morticia rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Darling, I’m-“

“That’s alright, Tish, no need to apologize. All my fault for not telling you about them yet.” Gomez sat their daughter back on the floor and bent down to kiss his wife on the lips then the baby’s forehead. “I have some things planned, I promise. According to my schedule, the first item on the romance list should begin tomorrow.” 

Ophelia sat back with a pout. “Looks like your attempt to stir up drama failed there, dear.” Mama said lightly as she watched the couple gaze at each other lovingly. 

The gaze was broken by a little voice. “Father?” Little Wednesday stood next to them, arms raised to be picked up. Once in her father’s arms, she pointed to the mantel. “Sword!” 

“You want to play with the ancestral Addams sword! Every child’s dream.” Gomez carried her over so she could touch the hilt, eyes wide with delight. “Here.” He sat her down and picked the sword up. Dropping to his knees, he held it out to her. 

“Make sure she doesn’t cut herself, Gomez.” Morticia bit her lip in worry. The trouble those two could cause would turn her hair gray. 

“Have no fear, querida, that blade hasn’t been sharp since I was a kid.” He supported the weight of the sword as Wednesday tried to hold it. “Father had to dull the blade after Fester’s third failed attempt at decapitating me.” 

She sighed deeply. “Darling, please don’t give her any ideas.” 

Wednesday stared at the sword then her little brown eyes widen. Turning to Morticia she smiled with delight. “Baby, come here!” 

Gomez shook his head and turned her back toward him. “No, no. None of that now.” 

With a protective hand on Pugsley’s head, Morticia hoped her children would get along a lot better once they where older. She hoped even more that _she_ would survive their childhood. 

The next day dawned bright and early with an enthusiastic three year old begging for her favorite cereal. As the family sat down for a nice breakfast together, Pugsley in the crook of his father’s arm, Wednesday began voicing her displeasure at his existence around bites of food. 

“No, Mama, I’m baby.” She said patiently as if Morticia had no idea what she was talking about. “He’s a pet.” Wednesday pointed her spoon dramatically at the baby. “Sleep outside.” 

“Darling, Pugsley is not a pet, he’s a member of the family.” Morticia sighed at the same conversation she’s had since the child first understood what the baby’s arrival meant. “Just because we added to the family, does not mean we love you any less.” 

Wednesday eyed her mother with disdain, cheeks stuffed full of cereal. “No, Mama. Ugly pet.” 

Gomez busied himself adjusting his son’s green onesie so his grin wouldn’t be noticeable. Pugsley kicked his little feet at the attention and cooed at his father. 

Morticia took a sip of her tea before patiently explaining once again why she was wrong. “Wednesday, your brother is not ugly nor is he a pet. He will live inside with us and sleep in a bed.” She stared the stubborn little girl down. “Understood?” 

She pushed her empty bowl aside, face set in determination to finally win this argument. “Mama, so pretty, so dumb.” 

The kitchen went eerily silent as the realization of what the little girl said dawned on her parents. Gomez winced in sympathy but remained silent, gaze fixed on his son’s face. The last thing he wanted was for his wife to think he agreed in any way. 

Morticia crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at the child. She tried to remain calm as she decided on a suitable reprimand. “Wednesday, did you just call me dumb?” 

The cold, quiet tone of voice made her freeze. “No.” Wednesday quickly said, face innocent as could be. “Sorry.” 

“You know that’s not allowed, we don’t call people dumb, especially your parents. It’s rude and an awful way to win an argument.” Morticia stood slowly from her chair. “You need to be punished.” 

Wednesday pouted but she knew not to argue when her mother used that voice. “You will stay in your room for the next hour, no toys, no playing.” 

Mama came from the other side of the kitchen, wiping her wet hands dry on a towel. “I’ll keep an eye on her.” She helped the child down from her chair and escorted her to the door. 

“Love you, Mama.” Little Wednesday gave one last effort to stay out of trouble but to her disappointment, she failed. 

Once they were both out of the room, Morticia shook her head sadly. “She almost got me there, I hate to say.” She draped her arm around Gomez’s shoulder and laid her cheek on his head. 

“Rather mean for a three year old, that one.” He pressed a kiss to her fingers. “If you’d like, querida, I’ll take him for awhile so you can have a break after all of that.” 

“Thank you, darling.” Morticia kissed her husband. “You would think something would get through that hard head of hers by now.” 

Securing the baby in his arms, Gomez rose from the chair and pulled her into a hug. “Well, my love, Addams stubbornness combined with Frump relentlessness equals a tough child.” 

“Too true, darling.” She blew out a breath, body sagging against him. “Maybe we’ll get lucky with this one.” Placing a kiss on her baby’s nose, Morticia left him in Gomez’s capable hands. “I’ll be in the conservatory if you need me.” 

“I’ll take this little guy here to my study, show him how the bills are paid.” Gomez chuckled and leaned in for another kiss. “Your first gift should be here in about an hour.” With a wink he escorted his wife up the stairs. A thrill settled in Morticia’s stomach at the prospect of a surprise. 

She spent the next hour tending to her plants. The hemlock was growing rather nicely and _this _seedling did not have the ability to talk back.__

A groan from Lurch took her focus from the thorn measuring she was very intent on. Four inches was a new record and she was thrilled at the growth. 

“Gift, Mrs. Addams.” Lurch said uncomfortably from the doorway as he led her out to the foyer. He shook his head in disgust before walking down the hall. 

Confused, Morticia glanced around for her gift. Nothing new was in the foyer except a white vase on the table. Pink roses, yellow sunflowers and white baby’s breath were crammed into the gaudy vase. 

That wasn’t for her, was it? Gomez would never give her something so vile. Unless...

Whirling around, Morticia marched straight to his study. Heart thumping wildly in her chest, cheeks flushed, eyes filled with tears; she had never felt such hurt. 

He was at his desk, pen in one hand and baby resting on the other. Bills, charts and checks were scattered across the surface. 

As soon as he saw her, Gomez’s face lit up. “What do you think?” He grew concerned when a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Are you angry with me, Gomez?” Morticia sniffled and wrapped her arms around her stomach. “The pink roses tell me you are.” 

“Of course I’m not angry with you.” He gingerly made his way to her, careful not to upset her further. “Wait, pink? Tish, the flowers should not be pink! I ordered two dozen black roses.” Pulling a crumpled receipt from his pocket, Gomez handed her the paper. “See.”

The black print did in fact show what was delivered was not what he chose. Morticia breathed a sigh of relief, the vile arrangement had not been from her husband. “This is not what’s out there.”

Passing the baby over, Gomez darted around her and out of the study. She followed after him, eyes downcast so she did not have to look at the bright flowers again. 

“That is the ugliest display of flowers I’ve ever seen.” Gomez said with a hand on chest, completely horrified. “Cara mia, I am so sorry you had to see this.” 

The flowers sat innocently on the table, unwanted and despised. Morticia covered Pugsley’s little eyes, no child of hers would see something like this!

“I’ll call them immediately and get this straightened out.” He carefully turned her away from the display. “I’m sorry, my love. Not a good surprise, was it?” 

“Definitely not.” She ascended the stairs, stopping halfway. “Darling, hide those. I don’t want Wednesday seeing them, she’ll be scarred for life.” 

With a grimace, he carried them carefully up the stairs. He found a spare room to stash them in. Morticia prayed someone from the florist would come back to get them. 

Multiple phone calls later, Gomez was no where near satisfied. The florist had run out of black roses so he couldn’t get them replaced and they kept pressuring him to keep the grotesque flower display. Finally, after a call to another florist, he had a bouquet of red and black roses on the way. 

Once Pugsley was put down for a nap and Wednesday was occupied, Gomez and Morticia tossed the horrid flowers into the roaring fireplace. They burned quickly, crumbling into smoking black ashes. 

“I’m sorry again, Tish, you deserve better than this.” Gomez signed sadly as he took a hammer to the ugly vase. 

“That’s alright, darling.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and watched him smash the white porcelain. “The fact you care enough to try is sweet and I love you for it.” 

The next bouquet finally showed up after lunchtime. Gomez tipped the delivery woman very well as she handed him the cellophane wrapped roses. 

“They removed the thrones but at least these ones are pretty?” He hesitantly passed the bundle over to Morticia. 

“I think they’re beautiful, my love, thank you.” She brushed her fingers over the dark petals. “A vast improvement over the pink ones.” 

They shared a laugh and a slow kiss, arousal and tiredness fought in Morticia’s body. Arousal was winning until a tiny body shoved between them at the knees. 

“Yuck!” Wednesday dropped her head back to look up at her parents, clearly thinking she was the most important thing in the world. “For me?” She pointed to the gift in her mother’s hands. 

“No, dear, these are for me from your father.” Morticia patiently explained, patting her little girl’s smooth black hair. “He got them for me as a Valentines gift.” 

“Rude.” She said before running off to get into some kind of trouble. 

They shared a proud glance before wrapping themselves back up in each other. 

The second gift came the next day, the day before Valentines Day. Morticia had just woken up from a bout of brief sleep to see her husband waiting excitedly next to her on the bed. 

“Good morning, darling.” She said through a yawn as she sat up in bed, back against the headboard. Her eyes drifted shut momentarily. 

“Morning, gorgeous!” Gomez kissed her cheek and passed her a black velvet box with a red bow tied around it. “Hope you like it.” He ran his hand along her stomach under the blanket, pulling her close. 

She opened the lid and found an onyx and ruby necklace nestled within the silk lining. “Gomez! It’s beautiful!” Morticia kissed him deeply and passionately. 

“Not as beautiful as you.” He said hotly in her ear, fingers tugging her nightgown up her legs. “I want to see you wearing that and _only that _.” He sunk his teeth into her pale throat, sucking and licking with the intent of leaving a dark love bite.__

____

____

Morticia moaned as she dug her nails into his scalp, holding him against her. “Get rid of my clothes and you will get your wish.” Her back arched as his kisses trailed down to her chest, tongue and teeth playing along her cleavage. 

With an extreme amount of willpower, Gomez pulled away enough to take the box from her hand. “Allow me.” He tugged the necklace from the box and looped it around her neck. 

As he pushed down on the clasp to fasten it, the piece broke off. “What the hell?” The clasp bounced off the bed and hit the floor with a barely audible clink. “You have got to be kidding me.” Gomez groaned, holding up the expensive piece of jewelry. 

“That’s alright, mon cher, I’m sure we can get it fixed.” Morticia carefully took the necklace from him, examining the missing section. “I still love it even if I can’t wear it.” 

He laid his forehead against her shoulder in defeat. “I suppose I should find that piece before little hands get to it first.” Gomez kissed her quickly then crawled out of the bed. 

He spent the next two hours scoring the bedroom floor for the clasp to no avail. Morticia had left him under the bed about an hour into the search so she could see to the children. The necklace was placed safely in her large jewelry box in the hopes of being worn someday. 

The broken gift had left Gomez in a sour mood all day. His constant companion was his baby son, who he kept by his side in his study while he avoided accidentally snapping at his family. A phone call to the jewelers did not help his mood, they could not fit him into the schedule to fix the necklace until at least another week. 

“At least we have reservations at the bistro tomorrow night.” Gomez grumbled as he crawled into bed beside her. “Your mother is watching the kids so I can finally successfully romance you.” 

Morticia curled against his chest with happy smile. “I’m looking forward to it.” 

A pouting Wednesday nearly derailed their dinner plans the next evening. She assumed she was going and made it known to the entire neighborhood that it was her right to eat at a restaurant with them. A few promises and threats of punishment finally made her stop. She sullenly sat on the couch as her parents gave kisses before leaving. 

“No thank you.” Wednesday grumbled as Morticia bent down to kiss her head. 

“If you don’t want a kiss, that’s fine. I’m sure Pugsley will be thrilled he gets your share as well.” She took the baby from her husband so she could rain kisses all over his little face. He giggled and squirmed in delight. 

“Kisses please!” Wednesday darted over to her parents, arms raised. “Stupid baby.” 

“Now, now, little girls who use that word don’t get Mother’s kisses.” Morticia replied sternly as she passed Pugsley to his grandmother. 

“Sorry, Baby.” She muttered to the floor before throwing her arms around her mother. 

After a sufficient number of kisses were deposited, Morticia and Gomez were finally allowed to leave the house. 

“I’m starving.” She said as she climbed into the car beside him. “I ate very little all day in anticipation for this dinner.” 

Gomez chuckled and drove the car out of Gate. “I promise, you won’t be disappointed.” 

Except she was. 

They met with a long line of still traffic halfway between the house and the bistro. A car accident had stopped the flow of traffic and no one had a clue when they would begin moving. 

“Everyone hates me.” Gomez grumbled, forehead pressed to the steering wheel. 

“Pretty sure whoever was in that accident might be having worse luck than you, dear.” Morticia winced as he began hitting his forehead in the middle, making the horn honk loudly and repeatedly. 

A long thirty minutes passed before they started moving. Another route was opened as the police began funneling them through a side street. 

“Have a wonderful night!” A police officer waved to them as they drove by. 

“Have a wonderful night.” Gomez mimicked as he stuck his tongue out. “Get bent, old man.” 

Morticia couldn’t be sure if the officer heard her husband, but the special attention he gave the license plate on the back of the car did not bode well. 

The bistro came into view causing Gomez to cry in delight. Something was vastly wrong, however.

“Why are there no cars?” Morticia wondered out loud as they pulled into the parking lot. “And why does it look like sections of the building are missing?” 

“Oh come on!” Gomez shouted as he drove by the big sign at the door. “Closed because of a fire! Who lets a fire stop them?” 

She sighed sadly at the closed up building and loss of a delicious meal. “That’s unfortunate.” 

He slammed the brakes and put the car in park. Burying his face in his hands, he mumbled, “It’s official! The universe hates me!” Gomez rubbed his eyes. “The universe does not want me to romance you or show you a good time. Fucking ridiculous!” 

Morticia scooted across the bench seat to his side. “My love, it does not matter what we do as long as we are together. Spending time with you is all the romance I need.” 

He groaned pitifully and buried his face against her chest. “I’m sorry, Tish, I tried so hard.” 

She squeezed him around the shoulders. “I know and that’s what matters.” She gently pushed him back to a sitting position. “How about we get some food and go home, hmm?” 

He pressed a kiss to her lips and gazed at the bistro one final time. “Alright, what do you want to eat?” 

Morticia thought it over, only one place came to mind. “I could go for a cheeseburger.” 

Gomez slowly turned to her, a grumpy look on his face. “Sure, I guess.” 

The cheeseburger cravings had started with her strange pregnancy with Pugsley. That boy had made her want to eat the weirdest food, a fast food burger was the most sought after. Occasionally, since he was born she would get a craving for one. Her darling husband was more than happy to buy one for her even if he did not understand her odd taste for them. 

They drove a few streets over to the bustling fast food joint. A line of cars stretched to the front doors as multiple people seemed to have the same odd craving she did. 

“I guess I’ll try a burger too.” Gomez said warily. “If you like them, I think I will as well.”

“You know my order.” Morticia sat back in her seat and watched the sun set over the top of a gas station. 

“Cheeseburger, extra onions and lots of  
ketchup. Large fries.” He recited without thinking as they pulled up to the speaker. “Anything to drink?” 

“A glass of wine would be good.” Morticia leaned across the seat to see what kind the restaurant had. 

“I’m not sure they sell wine here. Even if they did, it wouldn’t be a good vintage anyway.” Gomez squinted at the menu as he rolled down the window. “I’m not seeing any.” 

“That’s fine, darling, we have some at home.” She listened intently as he ordered for them, she could only eat the burger exactly as she liked it. Any other way was disgusting. 

The brown bag of food sat temptingly between them as they drove back to the house. The smell of fries was intoxicating in the most awful way. Morticia held out as long as she could before stealing a handful, Gomez smiled indulgently as she ate them one by one. 

Once parked in front of the house, Morticia quickly snatched the bag of food and carried it to the stone couch in the cemetery. 

“Start eating, Tish, I’m going to get us a glass of wine.” Gomez disappeared around the tombstones back towards the house. 

She pulled her burger from the bottom of the bag and found her burger dripping with ketchup, her guilty pleasure. She took a big bite and moaned at the taste. Cheap and unrefined but so good. 

By the time her husband returned with their drinks, she was already half way through her messy meal. 

“You have ketchup on your chin.” Gomez commented lovingly as he passed her a glass. “Looks like you ripped out someone’s throat, very sexy.” 

Morticia laughed, wiping the spot with a napkin. The wine was a dark red and paired with the fast food oddly well. 

Unwrapping the burger cautiously, Gomez sniffed the meat and poked at the bun. “If I get sick, it’s your fault.” 

“I take full blame.” She swore as she munched on a handful of fries, eyes riveted to her husband’s new experience. 

The first bite was tentative, his nose curled up in dislike. After a moment of chewing and swallowing, he went back for a second bite. 

“See, not to bad.” Morticia popped the last bite of her burger into her mouth with a happy sigh. She sipped more wine as Gomez reluctantly continued eating his own food. 

They sat in silence as they enjoyed each other’s company and the mediocre food. He finished his burger but refused the fries so Morticia took possession of the bag. 

Their trash was stashed in Gomez’s coat pocket while he carried the empty wine glasses back inside. They walked the long way around the cemetery, smiling at each other and exchanging kisses when Morticia’s mouth wasn’t full of fries.

“See, darling, a romantic walk through the cemetery with you is very lovely.” She said as she spotted the bright moon. “Sure, your plans had a few kinks but we seemed to have worked them out.”

“Seems that wayyyy!” The final word ended with a shout as Gomez disappeared.

Frantically, Morticia ran over to the spot she last saw him, half empty bag abandoned. “Gomez!” 

A groan on the ground caught her attention. He was sprawled out, face down, in a newly dug hole. “Darling, are you alright?” 

“Where am I?” He asked drowsily as he carefully turned over. “Damn, that came out of nowhere.” 

Morticia got to her knees to reach him, hands smoothing over his dirty face as he stood up. “Oh my poor love.” 

He glanced around at the newly exposed dirt. “Who dug this? Was it here when we left?” 

No tombstone indicated rather it was a grave or who it was for. No one had mentioned needing a grave. As far as she knew, they had been the only living beings in the cemetery all night. 

“I’m not sure. I know Mama would not have dug a grave without your permission.” She reached her hands towards him so she could help him out. “Maybe Kitty found a new project, he has been coming inside covered in dirt.” 

“Your fingers are greasy.” Gomez released her fingers with a grimace, stumbling back into the dirt wall. 

Morticia rolled her eyes and made a show of wiping her hand on the front of her dress. “Better?” 

“Thanks.” Using her weight for stability, he hauled himself up to the edge of the hole and climbed out. “Damn lion.” 

The dirt shifted causing his foot to slide. Gomez fell into Morticia, knocking her back onto the ground. “Damn! Sorry, Tish.” 

She slowly eyed their position; Gomez straddling her hips, hands braced on either side of her head, and faces inches apart. “I don’t know, darling, this seems rather nice.” Her hands wandered up from his back to his head, yanking on his neck to close the gap between them. 

With a growl, he captured her lips in a searing kiss. Morticia wasted no time opening her mouth to his questing tongue, whimpering as he swept over her teeth to play with her own. 

Gomez abruptly tore his mouth away with a grunt of pain. “Ow! Damn it!” 

She sat up with concern. “I’m sorry, darling! Did I bite you too hard?” 

He shook his head and held up his bleeding hand. A thin slice on his palm was oozing blood, a shiny piece of glass wedged into the skin. “It’s official,” he grumbled while wrapping his blood covered hand in a silk handkerchief, “the universe hates me!” 

Helping him to his feet, Morticia lovingly kissed his cheek. “That’s not true, my darling, just a lot of awful coincidences one right after the other.” She winced as he yanked out the glass imbedded in his hand and angrily threw it across the yard. 

“Someone hates me so much, they don’t want me to have sex with you!” Gomez pressed the silk to the wound, glaring at the blood. “All I wanted to do was romance you! Show you how much you mean to me but no!” 

Morticia wrapped her arms around his waist as he began to stumble back to the house. “I told you before, Gomez, spending time with you is all I need. Nothing fancy or expensive, just you.” 

He leaned heavily on her shoulders as the failed night sapped any positive feelings he had. “I want to show you I love you.” 

The extra weight and tightness of her dress made Morticia stumble over the uneven ground. “You do show me you love me, all the time. I’ve never once thought otherwise.” 

“I suppose.” He sighed sadly, examining the cut that still bleed a little. “Still, you deserve wonderful things.” 

She stopped them at the back door so she could take his handsome face between her pale hands. “The wonderful things I need in my life are you, our daughter and our son. Everything else you give me is simply a bonus.” 

Tears filled his warm brown eyes as he pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re so amazing, Tish, I love you so much!” He buried his face in her neck and held her. 

Patting his head, Morticia gently disentangled them. “You are equally amazing and I love you too.” She lightly kissed his lips, “Now, let’s get you inside before you hurt yourself even more.”

He pouted at her loving laughter but followed her inside. The house was quiet and still, not even a butler roamed the halls. A few scattered toys occupied the foyer but they were all shoved against the wall so as not to be a tripping hazard. Wednesday’s plans clearly foiled by her attentive grandmother. 

They washed and bandaged his hand before heading to his study. Morticia poured them each a glass of whiskey and cuddled close to him on the couch. Gomez downed his drink in one gulp then carefully placed the glass on a nearby table. 

His attention immediately turned to her, gentle fingers brushed back her hair from her throat. He placed kisses up and down her neck causing a moan to slip from between her lips. His hand slid over her belly, thumb rubbing against her breast. Sinking his teeth into the smooth skin under her ear, Morticia abandoned her glass while pushing his back against the couch cushions. 

She crawled between his knees on top of him, fingernails digging into the expensive shirt and deep into his chest. Gomez growled low in his throat as she roughly kissed him, teeth biting his bottom lip. 

Large hands rubbed her ass and hips, fingers bruising as their tongues met. His hips bucked against her as her lips kissed his chin and down to his neck, where she bit and licked. 

One hand stayed on her ass while the other moved up her back to the zipper of her dress. Expert fingers dragged the zipper down, hurried hands pushed the material from her beautiful body to pool around her waist. 

“Oh wow.” Gomez groaned loudly as her upper body was bared to his eyes. “Maybe the universe does like me a little bit.” 

Morticia sat up on her knees, back straight, and made certain her husband saw all of her. The hard bulge in his pants pressed against her thighs, the feel of him desperate for her made her grin. “The universe might not like you, but I certainly do.” 

Tightly gripping her hips, Gomez watched her slim pale fingers tease their way from her stomach up to her lace clad breasts. He groaned as she dipped her fingers under the cups before reaching behind her back to unhook the bra. 

“Oh, Tish.” He licked his lips when her breasts were finally displayed, the pink nipples hardening under his intense gaze. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face between them, lips kissing and sucking their way to a nipple. 

Morticia held his head to her chest as he sucked on the hard peak, stroking her nails through his hair. He switched to the other breast to kiss around the pale skin. Her back arched as he bit her, her cry of ecstasy was eclipsed by the ringing of the phone. 

“Ignore it.” His muffled voice said from her chest. His frantic hands pushed at the material at her hips, obviously trying to keep her distracted from the phone. 

The ringing finally stopped as the person on the other end gave up. Morticia and Gomez both sighed in relief as they started ridding themselves of clothing. 

He unbuttoned his shirt as she stood from the couch to finish removing her dress. Pants unbuttoned, Gomez eagerly reached for his wife even though her panties were still on her hips. 

He made to rip the damn scrap of lace off when the phone started to ring again. They froze, staring at the annoying thing resting innocently on his desk. 

“You should answer, clearly it’s important.” Morticia tried to keep the irritation out of her voice but the constant interruptions had finally started becoming a nuisance. 

“For fuck sake.” Gomez tugged his pants back to his waist and walked all the way around the couch to his desk. He had to avoid touching her in anyway or he would never make it to the phone. “This better be important.” 

He watched with a glare as Morticia pulled her dress back up. “What?!” He snapped into the receiver as he finally picked up the phone. “Oh, Itt, how are you?” 

Morticia busied herself with picking up her bra and zipping her dress back up as he spoke with his cousin. 

“Are you sure? You saw Fester?” His voice became excited at the thought of the mythical long lost sibling. “You’re vacationing in Tahiti and you’re certain you saw him? Did you say anything?” 

She knew this would be a long conversation. Any discussion of Fester would be a distraction from everything else. Morticia hoped the brother-in-law she never met would come back soon, her husband deserved that at least. 

“If you do say something to him, don’t mention me, alright?” Gomez’s eyes were wide with excitement and he began to pace. “We can’t scare him off!” 

Morticia waved her hand to get his attention. Hiding her disappointment, she indicated to him she was going to their room. He nodded and let her know he would be up soon. 

The walk up the stairs was quiet and lonely. She made sure to pop in to check on her mother and offspring. 

Mama was sprawled out on her bed in the room by the nursery, the baby monitor sat on her dresser beside a bottle of vodka. Fondly shaking her head, Morticia quietly shut the door after grabbing the monitor.

Pugsley was snuggled up in his octopus blanket, fast asleep. She bent down over the cradle to kiss his little forehead and stroke his plump cheek. Her heart filled with love and joy at the sight of her little boy. Very carefully, she shut his door with a light click. 

Wednesday was curled up in her own bed in the room next door, stuffed bat squished tight in her arms. She looked absolutely adorable to her mother at that moment, little face sweet and innocent without a shred of the usual mischief. 

Knowing her daughter was much easier to wake up, Morticia threw caution to the wind. Carefully, she avoided the mountain of toys on the floor to get to the bed. She kissed Wednesday’s cheek and smoothed her hair back from her face. 

“Mama?” 

She hadn’t been careful enough but hopefully the little girl would quickly fall back to sleep. “Yes, darling, go back to sleep.”

“Love you, Mama.” Wednesday mumbled as her eyes fluttered back shut, plush bat gripped in an even tighter hold. 

“Love you, too, baby.” Morticia kissed her again before slipping back to the door. She waited a few moments to make sure the sleep took hold. When little snores reached her ears, she quickly left the room and headed to her own. 

The bedroom was quiet and calm, no little begins had wandered in to disturb anything while they were gone. Still, Morticia double checked to make sure her daughter or their lion cub hadn’t put anything gross in their bed before laying down on it. 

Lazily, she kicked off her heels and peeled off her stockings then tossed them to the floor. Her dress was next, leaving her in just her panties and disappointment. Gomez would surely be on the phone for a while, meaning no sex and she would have to find something to amuse herself with. 

Nothing came to mind, the idea of getting out of bed just wasn’t appealing. So instead, Morticia grabbed the nightgown she kept at the foot of the bed and slipped it on. 

Relaxing back into the mattress, she closed her eyes for a few moments. She felt herself drift off to sleep until a loud slam of the bedroom door jolted her awake.

“Tish!” Gomez ran to her side of the bed, jittering with excitement. “You won’t believe what-oh, were you asleep?” 

Morticia blinked rapidly, groggy and disoriented. “I think so.” 

“I’m sorry.” He flicked on the light and nearly blinded her. “Anyway, Itt might have found Fester! Isn’t that great?” He began stripping his clothes off. 

“I heard and yes, it’s wonderful.” She tried to be supportive but her mood was throughly shot. 

“You still wanna fool around? I’m feeling a lot less upset now.” Gomez crawled into bed in only his boxers, hands on either side of her hips. His enthusiasm was infectious. 

“Of course.” She wiggled back out of her nightgown and panties, dropping them to the side of the bed. “Come here.” 

Gomez briefly kissed her lips before kissing down her stomach, hands spreading her legs. He laid down between them, face inches from her sex. Morticia sat up on her elbows to watch him work as her breathing became rapid in excitement. 

He wasted no time licking between her folds up to her clit. His mouth and tongue became saturated with her slickness. Flicking the swollen nub with the tip of his tongue, Gomez pushed a finger inside her. 

Morticia cried out, hand fisting in his hair and legs draping around his shoulders so she could pull him closer to her body. “Oooh!” Her head dropped back as he added a second finger. 

Dark eyes glanced up from between her legs, hungry and eager. She gasped at the intense stare, muscles clenching around his thrusting fingers. Gomez sucked her clit into his mouth and Morticia came with a cry. 

He pulled his head away as her hips bucked and back arched off the bed. She trembled and shook as she came down from her orgasm. A long night of teasing and interruptions increased the pleasure tenfold. 

The sight of his beautiful wife in the throes of passion was more than enough for Gomez, he shoved his boxers down to his knees, taking his cock in hand. 

“Darling, please.” Morticia moaned, wrapping her legs around his hips. “Don’t wait.” 

He lined their bodies up, poised to slid deep inside her but the sudden increase in light made him stop. 

The door to their bedroom was being pushed open and a tiny voice called to them. “Mama? Bad dream!” 

Scrambling off of each other, Gomez yanked his shorts up and clambered off the bed to the bathroom. The door shut with a snap. 

“Wait right there, Wednesday!” Morticia called as she frantically pulled her panties on. “Give me a second, please.” 

“Mama, need hugs!” The little girl pouted as she came through the doorway, stuffed bat squeezed in her arms. 

She tossed her nightgown over her head and covered all of the essentials. “Alright, darling.” 

Obviously, her excited husband forgot to lock the door, something they did every night. They started the habit once Wednesday learned how to walk and developed no shame about barging into rooms. This moment right here was a fantastic example on why the needed to be more careful. 

Scooping up the girl, Morticia kissed the tear tracks on her cheeks. “Bad dream, hmm?” 

Wednesday nodded sadly, head nestling into her shoulder. “Bunnies, rainbows and singing elves. Scary.”

“That does sound scary.” She kissed her head while rocking her back and forth. “We’ll cuddle for a bit, chase those awful elves away.” 

As she settled down on the bed with her daughter in her lap, Morticia sighed quietly at one more interruption. Maybe Gomez was right, maybe the universe did hate them. 

“I sleep here.” Wednesday said decisively, wiggling out of her mother’s lap to flop onto the bed. She stretched, restituting her plush bat in her arms and laid her head on Morticia’s chest. 

“I think it would be better for you to get back in your own bed.” She poked the girl in the side but Wednesday just snuggled closer. 

“Sleep here.” She said with finality, closing her eyes. 

Morticia did not have the energy to argue, she would explain tomorrow morning why sleeping in their bed was not a habit she would pick up. 

Tentatively, Gomez opened the bedroom door. He spotted them on the bed, the grumpy expression melted into a loving one. “She alright?” Slowly, he approached the bed with an air of concern. 

“Bad dream.” Morticia whispered as she kissed her baby’s hair. “She‘s going to stay with us tonight.” She smiled apologetically at his disappointed pout. “I’m sorry, darling. We got rather close.” 

He grunted, reaching for her hand. “At least you had a good time there at the end.” 

Hiding her satisfied smile was a lot harder than Morticia expected. “We’ll try again tomorrow, our awful luck can’t possibly extend that far.” 

“Hope not.” Gomez dragged his eyes tiredly over the bed. “At least she doesn’t take up much room.”

“True but we can’t cuddle with her in the middle.” She said sadly, hands pulling the covers up around her daughter’s shoulders. 

“I think we can.” Gomez swung himself fully onto the bed on her opposite side, balancing on the edge. “This’ll work.” He laid his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arm securely around her waist. 

“Night, Father.” A tiny voice chirped from beside his head. 

“Night, little one.” He kissed her forehead then nuzzled his way into his wife’s neck.

As Morticia stroked two identical heads of black hair, she decided it would be in her best interest to boycott Valentines Day next year. Less stress for her that way.

**Author's Note:**

> For the record: I love Gomez and Morticia with my whole heart, tormenting them was just too fun.


End file.
